You do not answer to anyone but you

I have a PSA (publicservice announcement)…

You do not answer to anyone but YOU.

I got a racist message into my Instagram inbox the other day.

And I wasn't sure if I was going to share it. But now that I've given myself space to process and lean into the experience... I'm ready to share some thoughts.

1. I acknowledge this message as racist

And that this has happened throughout my life. Comments and questions about the way I speak and where I'm "really" from. If events over history, or in the last year, have not yet opened our eyes, racism is real and still very much present.

2. I do not respond to messages based on the expectations of others or their sense of urgency (and you don't need to either!)

This person was upset that I did not respond to their question in their own perceived time-frame of what is acceptable, so they've attacked me personally. That is their issue. 

I practice responding with intention and presence; and sometimes I don't respond because my intention and presence is elsewhere. This is an ongoing process, and with a lot of patience, I am cultivating this skill further.

Technology is awesome 'cause I can call and see my mom on another continent, and have people around the world join my sessions and programs.

But, it has also influenced so much of our behaviours and expectations, both healthy and unhealthy.

In case you needed to hear this: you DO NOT need to respond to everyone who messages you right away.

 Give people space after you message them.

And as you read messages, let yourself be and breathe before reacting to reply.

You do not need to answer to anyone but you.

If you get messages like this in your inbox, in your comments, from people you know and/or don't know, you are not alone. I see you. And I hope you have support (and please feel free to reach out to me).