Don't do your best
Your “best” is where your mind starts to run way too fast on the hamster wheel.
And you start to get into the danger zone of overthinking.
That danger zone leads you into the even more dangerous zone of feeling overwhelmed.
What happens when you end up past both danger zones?
Inaction. Paralysis. Frozen.
Here's an example:
You want to implement a new, healthy habit like speaking more positively about yourself.
So you tell yourself - or your therapist, coach, mental health advocate says - “try your best".
They have good intentions. Hell, you have good intentions!
But then your mind tells you that “your best” = talking nicely to yourself 24/7 and only using the kindest, lovelist words in all of the dictionary.
You give yourself no room to make a mistake.
You either (A) get overwhelmed and give up before you even try OR (B) when you inevitably mess up and think or say a not nice thing about yourself (because you're human) you go into a shame spiral.
Either way, you end up believing that change is hard and you can't do it.
Sound familiar?
You're not alone. I see this vicious cycle regularly in my work with my 1:1 coaching clients.
Your “best” is a perfectionist trap that leads to inaction.
What to do instead?
This is what I tell my clients: EXPERIMENT
Don't do your best, experiment with that new habit / thought / belief / practice instead.
Say one nice thing about yourself every day. Start there. Experiment and if that feels too challenging. Say one nice thing about yourself every other day.
When you experiment, you take messy action.
And the more messy action you take, the more you'll learn.
The more you'll start to integrate the change you want.
Inaction leads you no where.
Messy action though = small steps forward.
If you didn't have to do your best today, what would you do?
With the tough love,
Victoria
Ps. Ready to stop running on that going-no-where-hamster-wheel-of-change and actually move forward with the change you want??? I have a few spots open for 1:1 coaching.