Instead of "just step outside your comfort zone", try this

Ever feel like the old age saying of “step outside your comfort zone" feel a bit anxiety inducing? Or stressful?

Or generally not as inspiring as people who use it intend it to be?

I have. And so many people I've spoken to have a reaction to it.

This phrase can often cause a strong reaction in the body and nervous system… even if you're not consciously aware of it.

Don't fall into the binary trick of either being in your comfort zone or not being in your comfort zone.

The experience of being comfortable with the uncomfortable is a nuanced practice.

It's not one or the other.

To step across / over a “safety” line of comfort can feel really scary.

For example, sharing my thoughts, insights and story widely online feels vulnerable (and outside my usual comfort zone).

And I didn't magically wake up one day and flip a switch.

What allowed me to feel courageous enough in embracing vulnerability wasn't being told “just step outside your comfort zone, Victoria”

It was actually this:

Learning how to grow my edges of comfort.

This includes (as this is something I still continually practice):

• Giving myself permission to grow my edges

• Somatic (body) tools that make my nervous system feel safe as a I expand the edges

• Emotional and energetic tools that also provide safety and remind me that expansion is a journey (sometimes it's fast, sometimes it's slow, there's no right or wrong)

• Growing my edges alongside people who are also growing their edges (because we are all human, and to witness each other's humanity is oooph, powerful and permission giving)

You can also think about it like this:

If you want to blow a bubble with your chewing gum, and you just push a big puff of air it can make your bubble grow too quickly and pop.

Then that experience of a quick and loud pop kinda makes you hesitant to do it again.

BUT when you blow the bubble slowly - growing the edges gradually - the bubble holds its shape and your muscles get used to holding this new bubble like it's a part of your being.

That's what I mean about growing your edges vs stepping outside your comfort zone.

Making it sustainable in your body, mind and energy.

So the next time you feel scared or anxious about stepping outside your comfort zone, ask yourself how you can gradually grow your comfort edges instead.

Until next time, with love,

Victoria

ps. I'm growing my edges in my coaching offer. I usually work with people 3x per month over a minimum period of 3-months. However, I am committed to creating and being a support system for you in a way that feels intuitive and organic for both of us.

Different things happen in different amounts of time and what I am now exploring with potential clients is this: what feels good for you and how would you like to be supported.

I am open to receiving that and co-creating something that honours you and feels sustainable, organic, and nourishing.

Book a free connection call with me to explore what kind of support is best for you, and if you resonate with how I coach. Reserve a time here. No obligations or expectation for a commitment on the call, it's exploratory for a reason :)